MONSTERIZED JEANS

I'm told the average woman tries on sixteen pairs of jeans to find a single pair that fit properly. I've lived that, and a whole lot of other women I know have, too. So when my favorite jeans sprang an air leak across the knee, it was nothing short of a disaster.

I sat and looked at the raggedy tear, and sighed. Looks like a great big old mouth, I thought. And then I smiled. I couldn't wait to get busy patching them.

Here's what you'll need to do the same:

Buttons
Beads
Scrap of red fabric
Thread

Do you see faces? I've been playing with my buttons and beads! Buttons with beads in their centers for eyes, a triangular bead for a nose, ring beads and metal spacers as another eye option--raid your sewing and bead boxes, use your imagination, and have fun!

Then you can get down to business. Measure the tear you're going to patch.


Cut a piece of red fabric that's about 1/2" larger all around than the tear in the jeans. If it looks like the fabric will fray, finish the edge with a row of stitching, or use something like Fray-check on the raw edges. Then turn the jeans leg inside-out, and pin the patch in place.


Make sure you haven't pinned through both layers of the jeans leg, and sew all the way around the patch. (Optional: Blow mental kisses and hugs in the general direction of whoever invented free-arm sewing machines!) Again, make sure you're sewing through just the patch and the torn jeans layer.

Now, ordinarily, you'd want to sew as close to the tear as you could, and you'd want to make it as invisible as possible, but don't do that this time. You're creating a mouth, and you want the red to show, and even gape open a bit when the knee bends, so sew near the edge of the patch.


Turn the jeans right side out, and play some more. Lay them flat and arrange your selection of beads and buttons to create a monster face. When you've decided on one you look, lightly mark the placement with a pencil, and sew in place by hand, using sturdy thread.


I haven't actually finished my jeans yet. I can't decide which face to use!




Now, it may or not go without saying, so I'll say it. Not every full grown-up woman would wear these, but I can think of a few thousand little boys who might, if their mamas chose to patch their little jeans like this!